


CDLV. 'Cause I got it

by Ex-Genesis (SevlinRipley)



Category: Channel Zero (TV)
Genre: Canon Character of Color, F/F, Female Character of Color, Homecoming, Memory Loss, No-End House, Post-Series, Pre-Slash, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 08:42:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13407579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SevlinRipley/pseuds/Ex-Genesis
Summary: What's a homecoming when you can't remember your home?





	CDLV. 'Cause I got it

When Jules planted Margot before her front door, she looked apprehensive. "I'm okay," Margot told her, sluggishly placing her hand over the handle. Jules deep, wide eyes kept searching her, but relented when Margot sucked in a sharp breath, and then exhaled slowly.

"You don't have to. If you're not ready, we can go back to my house."

Margot's eyes bounced off her door, around the walls, the porch light, cement beneath her feet. So familiar and yet distinctly different from what she remembered. Even though her heart was beating fast, and her palms were sweating, she knew that it was important to take the opportunity at hand. "My mom -" Margot started. Then paused, mouth hanging open. She had a mom, right? Her eyes flashed dark as she reached out for the black-gummy depths of her memories. Was her mom dead? Or. No. No, she remembers asking him where her mom was, so that must mean she was alive. When Margot could remember. "She's probably worried about me."

Nodding, Jules put her palm on Margot's lower back, stabilizing, before lifting her other hand to help push open the door.

"Wait," Jules whispered, turning Margot by her shoulders to face Jules. "There's something I should tell you before we go in. There were cops here when I left. I think she reported you missing. I don't want this to be more stressful for you than it has to be. Are you _sure_ you're ready to see her?"

Margot nodded, though her eyes were clouded over. Her posture still that of a puppet without a puppeteer. But it wasn't like Jules could change Margot's mind. Like, ever.

"Mom?" Margot called out, cautiously stepping into her home. Jules remained right behind her, until her mom enveloped her, crying, saying how worried she'd been. She watched as Margot tried over and over to wipe the fear from the muscles in her face, keep the wonder at bay when she finally had a moment to really look at her mother. Take in all the features that went missing and made her a stranger.

She knew what that felt like. Waiting for the hard drive to write over the empty spaces. Her mom and her sister, going from blobs to pixels to images in her memories when she reached for them. Although she could tell. At the end of the day, that even reabsorbing them in person couldn't bring back everything. She couldn't recall what they liked, what made them mad, how she'd hurt them in the past. Couldn't say she ever remembered feeling any kind of way about them, herself. In fact, she had the feeling that they'd always feel like strangers from now on. Strangers whose names and contact information she had at her disposal, but could never feel attached to more than she felt attached to dreams past.

It ached, thinking that Margot, too, may never have her mother back. Only a father who wasn't real, and a boy her best friend had killed. And Jules. Who, despite recent events, probably didn't deserve to hold the last remaining spot in Margot's mind. Yet somehow did.

But it wasn't all bad. Jules found that it was difficult to miss what she couldn't remember having. Even though she knew she should. So hopefully, in that way, they could have their peace. It had been too much to hope for... The thought that killing their demons might relinquish what they'd lost. But the emptiness remained like a permanent hangover, a vice grip on their minds, and a numbness to their emotions. Memories made a person, in one way or another. Made vital arguments in favor of or against most decisions. A blank slate meant learning things all over again. But for Margot and Jules, now they would be deciding, pretty much, based off of an experience with a single person. Each other.

Jules was lucky, she thought, that Margot was hers. Because Margot always made her want to be better. And no one terrified her more. So she knew her greatest potential strengths, and the terrible weaknesses that threatened her very existence.

Plus, she'd finally made the step in choosing Margot over her deepest, darkest nightmares. With that out of the way, what couldn't Jules do?

Whether Margot could find something equally as satisfying, exhilarating to focus on, Jules couldn't know.

 

Jules went home. Margot still independent to a fault, had sent her away.

When she arrived at her own house, with her own family, Jules re-read the details before her, further connecting the dots in her brain. Every day it got better. Even if by microscopic amounts. Tomorrow would clarify just that much more.

But she was already planning on heading to Margot's the second she woke up. Her brain racing with the image of walking up Margot's street, walking through her door. Up to her room, to find her where she was meant to be. To feel out, with her best and only friend, what to do now that they only had each other. To let Margot know that, this time around, Jules never planned on leaving her side. Jules couldn't even begin to know how. She'd rather die than try.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Flume's "[Never Be Like You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ly7uj0JwgKg)"


End file.
